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Post Wedding Blues


All long term relationships and marriages unfold in stages. The initial stage of a relationship -and often a marriage- is known as the honeymoon stage. This is when you feel most madly in love, you see your partner with rose tinted glasses, there are stars in your eyes and everything is shiny and new. You feel like that cartoon character with little love hearts swirling around your head and big lollipops for eyes. It’s that breathtaking stage that love songs are written about- you’re just walking around on sunshine!

In the second stage of the relationship- often 6 -12 months in- the glitter begins to wear off a little. You settle into a routine, lose the rosy tint and begin to see each other for the flawed individuals we all are. Habits which were endearingly quirky at first can begin to frustrate you, and you no longer feel weak kneed in each other's presence. This period is make or break time, sifting true love from the flings, and it’s in this stage that many relationships come choking to a halt. Couples that haven't anything between them beneath the surface of physical attraction and novelty value will sink at this time, when they will begin to really get to know each other well. This can sometimes create problems for whirlwind marriages where couples have committed in passion before really knowing each other, or where the glamour of getting married and preparing for the wedding day eclipses the relationship between you and your fiancé.
 
 Another aspect of this occurrence is the Post Wedding Blues. In its most severe stages Post Wedding Blues can develop into Postnuptial Depression. For most women, their wedding is the biggest and grandest day of their lives. They have dreamed about being dazzling in white since their childhood, and cut their teeth on fairytales which told them happy ever after happened with a wedding. On top of that come the months of planning and preparing and merry making that are part of a wedding. For most of a year a bride is the centre of everyone’s attention, showered with gifts and advice and hectic social events.  If she isn't careful, the cyclone of wedding mania can sweep her up and literally take over her life.

The problem with this is that when the wedding is over the flowers do eventually fade and everyone goes back to their normal life. The bride can be left with a wedding sized hole in her own life when this happens. After the fairytale of the wedding, real life can look a little dowdy. No longer the blushing bride centre stage, the focus of the new Mrs. X’s attention over the last few months is over and gone in a day. Brides can be left deflated and lonely to find themselves abruptly stripped of the hype they have become accustomed to. While feeling a sense of comedown for a week or two after marriage is common as so much has been invested in the wedding, some brides really emotionally crash with this sudden transition.  This affliction affects around one in ten new spouses.

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